Sunday, January 17, 2010

How do I get my parents to stop controlling my life without offending them?

I am a 21 year old college student. My parents still pressure me to get a crew cut and I end up getting one. I have decided that I no longer want a crew cut and I want to grow my hair to 3 inches and maintain it. How do I get my parents off my back without offending them?How do I get my parents to stop controlling my life without offending them?
You are old enough to make your own decisions now if you want longer hair dont get it cut, simple as that , they cant physically force you to go to hairdressers can they?. If they mention it again tell them to dye their hair bright pink, when they say dont be silly or words to that effect explain that its up to them how they have their hair and up to you how you have yours...How do I get my parents to stop controlling my life without offending them?
Do you still live with them?? Because if you do they will be saying if you are still at our home you will live by our rules....


BUt in a way they still don't understand that you are 21 and they need to let you be yourself.. You will need to be responsible of your stuff , keep up good grades and finish college so they can be proud of you and if you have a job even if it is part time help them out with a little $$$ so they can see that you are becoming a responsible man... Which it is not hard to do.. Tell them to respect you and your way of keeping your hair your beard or what ever it is... Just don't figth with them talk to them nicely .,. best wishes :)
If you're worried about offending your parent's re how you wear your hair, you're clearly very close to them and have made every effort to cooperate. Most people, by 21, have already fought this battle long ago, and won. In the scheme of things how you wear your hair is such a small thing, so I'm sure your parents will accept your decision gracefully. If they ask you when you are preparing to get your hair cut, as it grows, just state that you are planning to wear it a different way for now. It should not be an issue, and they should respect your decision.
I would tell them that you are an adult and you can live your own life you don't need them to live it for you, whatever you do don't say ';no offense'; I would also say this in a very calm kind way....good luck!!!
Explain to them you a an adult now and you don't need them to tell you what clothes to wear or how to wear your hair. Soon you will be out of college, finding a job and looking to settle down with a family of your own. It is time you make your own decisions. Next time they tell you how to do something, tell them you will take their opinion into consideration. Then do what ';you'; want.
Are you a military brat? It sounds so much like my dad... Well, anyway, I don't think you'll be able to get them off your case until you are officially out of their house and they aren't paying for anything. Even then, my dad is constantly asking me why I would let my kids grow their hair out! I laugh it off, as he was in the Army for 30 years, and it's not really a problem. He just can't adjust to NOT telling someone to get a hair cut :)
Are you living at home or go home often. If you are away at school grow your hair out. You should have plenty of time to reach your desired lengh and set in a style before the end of year. Avoid going home. Take their advice ';under advisement.'; You should have it looking decent and decided if you like it by then. Also there's a fun phrase I had to teach my college roommate in reguards to non-critical, unwanted parental advice: ';Objection noted.'; More for internal mental use than a ';throw in their face'; regular verbal statement.





If you're a commuter student living at home or you go home WAY too often from school (stay, play, and have fun) simply don't do it, as I said ';take it under advisement,'; unless they are pulling you into the barber by your ear. That's just stupid at your age. I'm guessing (likely) you're the oldest or (maybe) the youngest and starting off or wrapping up their ';empty nest'; stage. That was a bit of a rough rough stage for my mom when I started off to school and started that phase of her life for her.
My parents tried this all through my life. I had no friends in school. My father called a girl friend of mine a tramp, in which to this day I have still never seen her again. So, when I graduated high school, I already prearranged work for myself in Alaska and after two seasons of fishing I joined the military.


My only regret was not being able to see my friend again to apologize to her. We didn't go to the same school so that was a problem and she would not talk to me after that.


My parents went bananas over me going to Alaska and the Army. But it's my life. I'm an adult, they can have an opinion, I just don't want to hear it.
Ignore them.
Are they paying for your tuition or are you completely self-sufficient? They may think they still have a right to dictate if they are still supporting you. Wait until your done and on your own (unless you're ready for them to get pissed and quit paying). Then let them know exactly how you feel and that you will no longer be doing what they want.
Tell them point blank that you are now an adult and you are going to make your own decisions. Now granted if you still live under their roof you need to respect their rules, but something like a hair cut you can control. Sometimes it take a little offending to make them see your point, but don't be disrespectful.
My guess is that your haircut isn't the only place your parents are too controlling of. You're lucky that you recognize this as a problem and many women are going to steer clear of you once they find out what a pull they have with you.





I would do my best not to make a big deal out of it. Instead, when it comes up I'd just tell them, ';It's my hair and I'd like to see what it looks like grown out a bit more and since it's not hurting anything I don't see the harm.';





It's really hard for a lot of parents to let go of their 'babies.' If being nice and subtle doesn't work for you, then you will absolutely have to be point blank about being an adult and making your own decisions.
tell them straight up. just dont be so mean about it- say something like ';mom, dad, i love you both very much, and i really really really appriciate you paying for college, and all the stuff you did for me in life, but please let me make my own decisions from now on. im 21 years old and i want to be my own person.'; but if this is only about a haircut, just dont get it, no need to confront them about your hair...
  • lipstick
  • No comments:

    Post a Comment