You go through a cycle. As a child you think parents are the greatest and smartest things ever. They are infallible like the pope. When you are a teen and young adult, you think they are the most stupid people on the planet. As you get older, sometimes after you have children of your own, you realize they are just human and respect them. Once you lose a parent, you again think that they were the greatest and smartest thing ever.
Leesespieces: I think you are my long lost twin.Why do we start judging our parents when we get older?
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And then you have kids of your own and suddenly you gain a deep and abiding respect for them while asking yourself how they could have possibly let you live through your teen years.
because your different then them, you believe and feel different about different things, i feel the same i am just a different kind a person they my parents and you are too
has to do with pyschology
Actually, my mom is my best friend and this didn't happen until we were adults. I love my mother and I'm proud to say I'm just like her.
yeah i know what you're talking about, maybe is because we have failed in some things and is easier to blame someone else, in this case our parents.
I learned from TV that parents need to be perfect -- and to reward temper tantrums and run-away attempts with hugs and appologies so i hated my parents as a teen. Then i worked as a cashier and saw how bad most parents in real life really are. they slam their kids against the cash register. they yell ';i don't need you'; when the kid wants to HELP bag groceries -- dude --- if you kid puts soda on top of bread, don't you think that's something you, as a parent, should teach them about? that's how they learn the laws of physics! After seeing that i began to love and accept my own parents again.
And what's wrong with judging. If i'm not supposed to judge, say, my own parents how can i learn from their mistakes? if i didn't judge the parents i saw in supermarket, how can i learn what good parents mine were? If i don't judge Hitler for being evil -- you get the idea.
Judging a person by their clothes -- EWW they shop in Wall Mart, they must be dirty and stupid because they don't spend on Prada like I do -- that's wrong. Judging people according to their BEHAVIOR, I believe is a necassary human response, even if it isn't popular, like pain or anger.
because we learn more... as a kid we were ignorant to speak so we just accepted then we loose that and feel that you need to do something to be accepted but that's people getting set in there ways!!
a lot can be learned from a child!
Because it's part of growing up! You'd rather listen to your friends gripe about how his/her parents won't them do one thing or another! And then you go back and test the water! been there done that, trying to shape your personality....blah, blah. blah!!!! Although parents aren't always right either!!!!!!!
its because we realise that they too are only human! and we realise that we dont always have to agree with their opinians like we used to when we were really young...
I feel that it's because we ourselves have become not only wiser but less patient with things and with people--It's nothing to be ashamed of--It's just a fact of life--
I know what you mean. It's because when you get older you get to know them and understand them and their reasoning more. When you were younger they tell you something and you accept it, but as you grow up they lose authority and you start questioning them.
I still love my Mum and Dad to bit's though, even if they do irritate me from time to time.
I think it is because we are exposed to the world more the older we get. We are able to disagree with them as we get older because we are not going to get into trouble for it. It's all part of growing up. As we get older we notice things we dont like.
That's usually because you don't understand what it takes to be a good parent. When we are very young we see ourself as an extension of our parents there fore we don't see them as havening any faults. When we get older and have to separate from our parents we start to notice that they aren't perfect and that makes it easier to realize that we're different people than they are. When we become parents ourselfs we than begin to understand some of the choices that they had to make. We also realize that we aren't perfect and if we don't want our children to hold that against us we shouldn't hold it against our parents.
i think cuz when we get older we care about too much about others think and we judge them becuase they make u look bad and is very embaressing.
when you grow up and have kids of your own you just notice differences and you notice things your parents did that you would never do but im sure that its not the same for everyone
Because once we become completely independent personalities (as opposed to when we're kids and we learn habits, opinions, and tics from our parents), we start separating and start seeing things we don't like that we didn't notice before because we were so close (both emotionally and in personality).
I feel the opposite about it. As a kid I always thought my parents were dumb, uncool, ridiculous. etc. Now I understand them more.
When we were young and developing we thought our parents were the smartest people in the world. As we aged we realized they were not, do to our life experiences. As we age more we realize they were correct in their thinking at the time, but things change so fast today it's impossible to stay abreast with life day to day.
its because we've grown up, went to school, seen other families and relationships,and then theirs Hollywood.its not all bad you find out about your parents, Ive been living with mine as an adult for 5 years now, she's in her 60's I'm in my 40's. Ive learned to respect my mom and dad in many different ways then when i was a kid, you grow to understand,and remember my dear,your kids will pro bally think the same of you,so watch your p's and q's
I think when we are small they know everything and are really big people and if you are hurt they know how to make it better.
Then around about teenage time you start to see the world through different perspectives trying on different ways of how you want to be, It is a critical time. Not this Not that!. You can start to see your parents through a distorted lens and they fall off the pedestals you put them on. Later when you have chosen your own path and fallen off it a few times you can re-view your parents in all their common good humanity - just trying their best like all the rest of us.
I do think that our children do better than us as the way of the world. It means the world is a better place all the time. Inevitably there will be a bit of relationship difficulty with the timing of growing older and judgments both ways. I trust it all comes out in the wash.
I irritate the socks off my daughter at times and we are working on it.
Sometimes when bad things happen in our lives we tend to blame our parents for the way they raised us. Also, some parents have a hard time of looking at you as anything but their little dependent child and not a competent adult.
Personally, for me. It was that I began to see both of my parents good and bad qualities in myself. But as I got older. I realized what it is that defines me. I still at times see my parents in some of the things that I do. But, now it is apart of who I am.
I nit pick at alot of the stuff my parents did when i was a kid...not sure why...but i find myself doing the same odd things w/ my own children....i hope they dont nit pick about me when they are grown!
You start to develop your own opinion on things, life, etc. This could go either way though. I know some people who despise their parents and others who completely understand why their parents raised them how they did.
most of us judge everyone , all the time
I wouldn't say unbearable but I agree with what you say, you start seeing parents as real people (there are things you like and don't like just like your friends and colleagues) and they are not super mummy and daddy anymore, what they say is not always right (in your opinion) and what they do do not make a lot of sense.
But they managed to bring me up as a healthy and happy adult, even they have their shortcomings, they must have done a pretty damn good job.
Exposure to the world makes it a lot more autonomous with our thinking. A brand new perspective on things, adds to our inventory of knowledge as regards to analyzing our upbringing. The more sheltered you are, the less you question your parents.
Maybe they don't practice what they preach, but even though this happens it goes the same way it came, we do eventually come to understand why parents do what they do, mostly it's to hopefully raise their kids to be better than they are, we all have shortcomings, parents are prone to mistakes like everyone else, we as their children just happen to judge them more harshly because these are the people we trust to always make the right decisions, but it's a harsh reality when we grow up and realize they are only human nothing more special than that. Unless you are a parent, you can only imagine how you would raise your kids, what you might do differently, maybe you would like to be perfect but the truth is that just isn't going to happen, nothing or no one is ever perfect.
Simple, we don't want to deal with our annoying parents any longer.
Teenagers want freedom, we want to be let go, but at the same time, we aren't mature enough to do so. It's very annoying
Because we see their shortcomings in us as well. We also realize oiur own limitations.
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